There anything like male companions for lesbians? I guess not. But lesbians often need the companion of anyone but a female once in a while. The feeling is hard to resist. In fact, if you try so hard, you risk falling into depression. That is just the truth. Hard but true.
So, in the strict sense of it, being lesbian doesn’t mean that men irritate you. It’s just that you have a stronger affinity for women. I am saying this from experience because I have been a lesbian for close to 20 years now.
I was not born a lesbian – I am not sure I have met anyone that claims to have been. Being a lesbian is a conscious decision we make at some point in our life. For us, it is a harmless decision borne out of admiration while to others it is a decision stemming from animosity from a bad experience. Somehow, I fell into the second category.
Growing up, I naturally found myself in the midst of boys. So, when I got to 18 and was free to do what I wanted, male companions became my frequent allies. Frank, Fred, Francis and myself have been friends for like forever. I often called them the F-squad. We partied together, hung out together and did a couple of illicit stuff together.
Whenever I was with one of the three, people quickly concluded that it was that one I was dating. Somehow, I was always with Francis. So, the other boys in the neighbourhood used to think he was the one I was dating. Everything was merry and fun until one day.
We went to a party and drank so hard. I was struggling to my feet. So we decided to spend the night at Frank’s house since it was nearby. Although we were all tipsy, we stayed up rambling about sex. Then Francis switched on the television and began to play this hot orgy clip.
The boys got so horny, and Frank pulled out his stud and began to jerk off. That one finished, and another began. This time it was a gangbang. Francis who was already rubbing his crotch said something that sounded like a joke, “Hei, we have enough number to try this one”.
“No way!” I immediately objected to it. Unlike the guys, I was really tired, and the only thing in my head was a good sleep. Fred who has been quiet spoke for the first time and agreed with Francis. I know it might have been fun if only I was in the mood because I have had sex with the three of them individually but not together.
I began to protest, but it was too late. They subdued me and satisfied themselves at my expense. I think guys are assholes when it comes to keeping their dicks under control. I cried for the most of the night, and when I woke up in the morning, my body was rippling with pain. I felt like picking up a knife and stabbing it hard to their chest because that was what they did – they broke my heart and betrayed my trust.
I knew the consequence of reporting them to the police. I was bitter but somewhere deep down; I still recognize these guys as my friends. I left, and that was the last time they saw me. Francis has tried to reach me through my social media accounts to beg for mercy, but I have shut him out.
That was the incidence that made me become a lesbian. It has been a wonderful experience hanging out with girls. At least, I am not scared that I would be raped. That trauma has made it hard for me to sleep at night whenever there was a male figure around.
People said I should try counselling but I don’t think I need that shit. A few months ago, I was wet. I spent time with a couple of my female friends, but I wasn’t feeling their touches and kisses. That was when it dawned on me that I should try a man.
To cut a long story short, I opted for male companions for many reasons. First, I just needed a guy to satisfy me with no strings attached. Secondly, another lesbian sister recommended them. She said she goes through similar feeling once in a while, and male companions have always been effective in handling it.
I must confess, after the first meeting, it was obvious it wasn’t enough. I had to schedule more meetings with other male companions to get the satisfaction I desired. Their gentle but firm touches, the way they whisper in my ears, in fact, everything was just perfect. At a point, I considered ending my lesbianism campaign but each time the idea came up, the pain from my past trauma comes up to snuff it out.